The Great State of Mass

Yeah, I get it, I haven't updated since August. I just recently woke up from my vodka vicodin hangover and realized I missed Christmas. So don't get pissy, I'm the one who lost out on a mink snuggie.

I picked up a newspaper and found out that some nude guy won the senate seat from Martha Dykely, and I can't quite explain how tickled pink I am by this news. He's a Republican so I was going to like him anyway, but the fact that the grand poobah of Massachusetts Democrats ran a crap ass campaign because she thought she would automatically win makes me think I'm not the only one in need of rehab. Again.

Let's just do a summary of shit I'm thinking shall we?

Jay Leno vs. Conan O'Brien - I want to do this to someone. Seriously, can we start saying "I hope I Leno the hell out of you" as a term of vindication? Yes? Good.

Chris Brown - After I beat my girlfriend's ass, I think it would rock to get photographed w/ JPG who looks like he had the snot whooped out of him. What shroom high PR person would think that's ok?...wait.

Haiti - Let me tell you why this convinces me there is no God. My brother is a drug addicted fiend who leaches off my parents at every opportunity. My mother knows this and still gives him money when he uses the excuse "But those men will kill me." So God is cool with Haiti being the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, but decides an earthquake would just be the cherry on top. Yeah, folks, not happening.

That's it...see you in July.